


Never Letting Go

by lacat123



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Angst, Angst and Feels, Castiel (Supernatural) Whump, Castiel and Dean Winchester Have a Profound Bond, Crying Dean Winchester, Dark, Frostbite, Gen, Head Injury, Human Castiel (Supernatural), Hunter Castiel (Supernatural), Hurt Castiel (Supernatural), Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt No Comfort, Hypothermic Castiel (Supernatural), One Shot, Pre-Slash, Vampires, Whump, With Three Scenes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-09 11:53:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18637609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lacat123/pseuds/lacat123
Summary: Cas shouldn't have gone on his own to fight those vampires. Not newly human and still getting used to not having his grace. But he did. And now he was locked in a damn freezer a state away from Dean. Not that that was going to stop him from getting to his angel.





	Never Letting Go

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Hypothermia](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16269098) by [lopingloup](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lopingloup/pseuds/lopingloup). 



> Hey y'all! Thanks for coming to this fic! This is inspired by Hypothermia from maqcy. Her story is awesome and everyone should read it. 
> 
> Warnings are in end notes if you want them.

He hadn't been expecting the second vampire. The first one had been easy enough, his body lying near a group of tables across the diner. Luckily, it was past midnight, and the whole place was empty. No one around to notice the supernatural battle happening in the kitchen. 

He tried to dodge, but his human reflexes weren't quite quick enough to get out of the vampire's reach. A punch threw him across the room, until he hit the wall and slid down onto the floor. Dazed, he glared up at the monster looming above him. 

He should have listened to Dean, as much as he hated to admit it. The hunter had told him to stay behind and wait for them to get there. Both him and Sam had been checking out a lead a state over, where they'd assumed the nest had moved on to. He stayed behind to wrap up any loose ends with the local law enforcement. But a few hours ago, another person had been killed. It hadn't taken that much effort to track the vampire to this diner. 

Or, as it turns out, vampires. 

The monster was looming over him, teeth bared. His limbs felt heavy and lead-like, but he managed to get back to his feet. His head pounded and ached where it had hit the wall, and he could feel the warm and sticky blood running down it slowly. This human body was fragile, and as much as he tried, he couldn't seem to stop injuring himself. With his grace, it would have been a simple thought to take away the pain. But now he was stuck with it for at least a few days. 

He knew he wouldn't be able to fight. He was disarmed, the machete long gone after the second vampire had attacked him. And, judging by the way the world was spinning slightly, he now had a concussion. So he took the only option left, and ran. 

He wouldn't make it to the front door, he decided quickly. Much less to his truck waiting outside. He dove out of the kitchen and into what seemed to be the pantry, heart beating all too fast. He could hear the vampire's heavy steps behind him, getting closer and closer. 

The pantry was, for all intents and purposes, a dead end. He was cornered between the back wall and the monster that would come into the room any second. He looked around for a way to get out, and saw a door that had to go into a walk-in fridge. The Gas-N-Sip he'd worked at a few months ago had had one too. That had locked from the inside. He could only hope this one was the same. 

He ran to the back of the pantry, gripping the handle tightly and pulling. It opened, creaking, and he walked inside. The vampire was close now, reaching towards him. But he closed the door and turned the lock. 

He registered a few things pretty quickly. The door was much colder than he would have thought, and the air. This wasn't a fridge, but a freezer. And the loud scraping sound outside could not be anything good. 

He stood facing the door, frozen and unable to do anything but wait. The monster was saying something, but through the heavy metal it was nothing more than mumbles, too low to make out. Then there were footsteps, soft but distinctive. Walking away. Why the vampire would just leave a hot meal, he didn't know, but was most certainly glad. 

His hands were already shaking, slightly yet enough to be noticeable. He couldn't stay in here long; the human body could only withstand cold temperatures for a few hours without proper protection. He'd learned that the hard way. 

Glancing around quickly, he couldn't find anything that could be used for beheading. It wasn't ideal, for he couldn't be certain the vampire was truly gone, but he'd have to make due. If the monster hadn't grabbed it, his machete was by the front door. 

His hands undid the lock and gripped the door tightly, wincing at the cold that bit his skin. He was glad to be dressed in his FBI 'threads', as Dean calls it, the many layers providing a sufficient amount of warmth for this small period. But his hands were exposed, and little shivers already wracked his body. 

He pushed down on the handle. And it didn't budge. Again, there was the same result. A bit of panic washed over him, but he tried again. And again and again and again and-

The door wouldn't open. 

Forcing his mind to think rationally was hard. The concussion, the cold, and this ever present pressure on his chest was making it hard to breathe, much less think of a plan. He stumbled back until his suit jacket brushed a shelf, and sat on the ground. He needed to think, to figure out a way to escape. 

The tremors were no longer small, and his shoulders were shaking with the force of them. He wasn't unused to the cold, had spent enough winter nights outside since being human for that to be impossible. But this was different. Not a natural cold, but worse. There was no soup kitchen for refuge, or warmth to savor. Just more biting metal against his skin. 

He understood what the sound had been now; the vampire must have put something against the door so he couldn't escape. That was the reason it wouldn't open. 

The diner opened at seven in the morning, meaning employees would get here at six. He pulled his phone out of his pocket, looking at the time. Twelve thirty eight. He wasn't sure there wouldn't be permanent damage by that time. Already his hands and feet were numb, and the concussion was dangerous and needed to be looked at. 

It took a moment for his mind to sluggishly connect what he was holding to a plan. He had a phone. Which meant he could call Dean or Sam. They would come and get him. As much as he hated asking for their help when he'd done the exact opposite of what they had told him to, a scolding was better than dying in a freezer.

It wasn't easy to type in the number. He struggled to pull each digit from his memory, and his hands were shaking so hard it was difficult to hold the phone. But finally, finally, he was able to press the call button. 

It rang. And rang. And rang. Until Dean's voice came from the speaker, recorded. Voicemail, he realized. He'd reached the hunter's voicemail.

He tried again. 

It was past one when he gave up, just leaving a message and hoping beyond hope that Dean would see it soon. He'd tried Sam too, but with no more luck. 

The shivers weren't as bad now, but he wasn't sure that was good. His already sluggish thoughts were slower. The slacks were doing nothing to stop the cold from seeping up through the fabric, nipping at his legs. Not to mention the metal rack digging into his back. 

He forced his fingers to move and type in the number again. 

And it rang. 

And rang.

And rang. 

_________________

He'd been sleeping. Of course he'd been fucking sleeping. Knocked out by whatever combination of beer and Jack he'd drunk at the bar earlier. Nebraska had been a bust, the supposed vampire victim here nothing more than an actual animal attack. And, just saying, when did that ever happen? 

He'd meant to call Cas. Tell him that there was nothing here, and that they'd be there by mid-afternoon tomorrow. But then they'd gone for a drink. Which had turned to two. Than three. 

Blinking blearily at the screen, he tried to make out what it was saying. And his heart skipped a beat when he finally did. 

Thirty missed calls. _Thirty _. All within the past hour, too. And all from Cas.__

__

__As fast as he could, he called the ex-angel back. It picked up nearly immediately, fast enough that Cas' hand had to be on the button._ _

__

__"Cas, what the hell is going on?" He said, into the phone loudly, before glancing over at Sam. His brother was still snoring on the opposite couch, arm laying on a pillow on his stomach. That vampire back in Iowa had slashed it up good before hightailing it out of there. He'd brought Sam here only because the stupid bitch had refused to be left behind. But he'd gotten a fever, low but still concerning. He'd gone alone to the crime scene and morgue, forcing his brother to rest._ _

__

__"D-dean?" Cas' voice was weak and soft, and way, way too shaky. He sounded scared. And he should not be scared when just holding down the fort. Which meant something had to have happened, because nothing could go right in their lives._ _

__

__"Cas? What's wrong?" He walked out of the motel door, careful to let it close softly. "Where are you?"_ _

__

__"I-I went after the v-vampire." Goddammit, that idiot. He couldn't just follow one simple instruction and had to get himself put in danger when he doesn't have any powers or anything._ _

__

__"I need you to tell me where you are and what is happening." He forced his voice to sound calm, which he most definitely wasn't feeling._ _

__

__"T-the d-diner, near the m-motel." He stopped for a long moment, heavy breaths audible through the speaker. "T-he freezer."_ _

__

__"How the hell'd you-" He stopped. After everything that he'd done to Cas, he couldn't make the angel feel bad, not about something like this. He'd probably gone to feel useful. Over the past few months, he'd put himself in enough stupid situations because of that. Like they were ever, _ever _going to leave him behind again. "How long've you been in there?"_ _ __

__

__

__

__Another couple of breaths that no longer sounded quite as deep. Shit. "H-hour, maybe longer."_ _

__

__He nearly swore under his breath, but caught himself. Couldn't make Cas any more scared than he probably already was. Getting panicked right now could not be good._ _

__

__"You can't get out, right? The door's locked or something?"_ _

__

__"Mm-hmm." He sounded tired. He sounded way too tired and that was bad. That had to be bad._ _

__

__"Cas? Cas, hey, I need you to stay awake until I get there, okay? You can't go to sleep." Oh god, this was spinning way too out of control._ _

__

__"'m tired, though." His voice was slurred._ _

__

__"I know, I know. But this is important, Cas. Are you still shivering?"_ _

__

__"Na-unh," Dammit. He's too cold, way too cold._ _

__

__"Listen to me, buddy. I'm going to drive there, but it's going to take a few hours. I need you to call an ambulance." If Cas was that cold, the three hours it would take him may be too long. And he was human now. They couldn't take any risks._ _

__

__"No- No hospitals."_ _

__

__"As much as you don't like it, this is serious. You need to get out of there-" He was cut off by Cas' low whisper._ _

__

__"D-dead vampire, b-by t-the door." Shit. If he did call an ambulance, than the first thing they would see is a dead body. Not to mention most of the evidence would point to Cas. And the fact that Jimmy Novak has been missing for years and had to be the suspect in a couple of murder cases by now._ _

__

__"I get it, no cops." He was climbing into Baby, pulling the car into gear. He'd leave a message for Sam later, but his brother was in no position to be hiking across state lines in the middle of the night and then facing a potential vampire. "I'm coming, ok? I'm coming."_ _

__

__"'s... 's cold"_ _

__

__"Three hours, Cas. Just hold on for three more hours."_ _

__

__Please, he added in his mind. Please._ _

__

__

__

__

___________________ _

__

__

__

__

__He got there in just under two. Breaking every speed limit, plowing through every stop sign. And had more than a few horns blared at him._ _

__

__He'd forced Cas to talk for over an hour before the ex-angel had inevitably fallen unconscious. It was only then he took the time to call Sam, leaving a quick voicemail before focusing on the road ahead and listening to his friend's light breathing._ _

__

__His nerves were frayed to the point of non-existence, every part of his being focused on the noises coming from that phone. The only indication he had that Cas was still alive. And he didn't care what was going to happen; if it came between saving Cas by calling an ambulance or keeping their cover, he would choose Cas every time. But a small part of him held out hope that Cas would be well enough that they could take care of him at home. They weren't far from the bunker._ _

__

__The lights were on in the diner. It was brighter than anything else around, almost like a beacon in the dark. Cas' truck wasn't outside. There weren't any cars around; not only the diner, but the road as well, seemed deserted._ _

__

__He parked as fast as he could, nearly tripping as he ran out of the car. Every second that Cas stayed in there was too long. Far, far too long._ _

__

__The main room of the diner wasn't much different than he was expecting. Tables overturned, blood sprayed. The police would've had a shit-fest if they'd come along this place. He noticed that a machete was by the door, and he grabbed it. Who knew if the vampire was still here?_ _

__

__He ran into the back area, passing an equally-messy kitchen, and went to the pantry area. A metal shelf was knocked over, contents spilling across the ground. It blocked the heavy metal door that he assumed entered the freezer._ _

__

__The rack was heavy, but with adrenaline fueling him, it wasn't hard to pick it up. Then he reached over and shoved the door open._ _

__

__There were drips of blood across the floor. Cas had told him he'd hit his head, but the sight was still jarring. But considering the fact it's a head wound, it didn't seem too bad. They just had to get out of here and somewhere warm, then they could deal with whatever concussion or anything came with that._ _

__

__It was really cold in the freezer. He'd worked enough diner jobs in his teens to know that this was colder than a walk-in should be. At least below negative ten. The fact Cas had managed to stay conscious as long as he did was impressive. And gave him a bit of hope._ _

__

__A black form was huddled in the back corner. He could make out the cheap fabric and blue tie that was from Cas' FBI threads. The bundle wasn't moving._ _

__

__He stopped, staring at the tiny shape in disbelief. _He wasn't moving _._ _ __

__

__

__

__"Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck fuck, fuck." He snapped out of whatever state he'd been in and knelt beside Cas' body. Cas' still alive body because they were getting out of here, both of them. He picked the ex-angel up gently, carrying him outside the freezer. He breathed a sigh of relief when they were back in the warm. He'd been in there for a minute, and he'd already been shivering. Cas had been in there for at least three hours in nothing more than a suit jacket._ _

__

__His hands were blue. Frostbite, probably because they were resting against the metal floor. But the bigger problem was that he couldn't see Cas' breathing. His chest was still, far too still. He could only sit there for a moment, staring at his friend as every thing his father ever taught him threw straight out the window. This was serious. Way too serious. But by the time the ambulance got there, Cas would be-_ _

__

__He needed to do something right now._ _

__

__He checked for a pulse, groaning at the cold skin on his wrist. When he didn't get one there, he tried the neck. There was one there, slight and weak. But it was there, and he had to focus on that. And it meant he was probably breathing, just too light to see._ _

__

__Shucking off his jacket, he wrapped it around Cas tightly. He needed to warm up, right now. Then he grabbed him up into his arms again, running to Baby._ _

__

__"Don't you dare die on me, Cas. Don't you fucking dare." His voice cracked, but he honestly couldn't care. He could feel the cold through his jacket, radiating from the angel. Hospital, he'd already decided. He was bringing Cas to a hospital. There was one twenty minutes away. Just twenty minutes and Cas would be safe._ _

__

__He laid Cas down in the backseat, before jumping behind the wheel. Pushing down the gas pedal all the way, the tires pealed out of the parking lot. He shoved the heat on full blast, ignoring how hot it made him even in just his plaid overshirt. Cas needed to get warm._ _

__

__He pushed above ninety on the highway for five minutes, before glancing back. And then he saw how blue Cas' lips were. He wasn't breathing, at all now. Oxygen wasn't flowing and so his lips were losing color and oh my fuck._ _

__

__He pulled over, though not enough to be out of the road, not bothering with hazards, and ran to the back. He pulled his body out from the seat, laying him on the ground before checking his pulse again. This time there wasn't one._ _

__

__"Please, Cas." He whispered, readying his hands for CPR. He pushed down, over and over again, just like he'd been taught. Over and over and over and over. Time ceased as he struggled to keep Cas' heart flowing and his lugs inflated manually._ _

__

__He couldn't stop, not long enough to call an ambulance. If he stopped, Cas would die. And Cas is not dying here tonight. Not on the side of the road because of some half-cocked mission to kill some vampires._ _

__

__A rib cracked. He could feel it move and twist every time his hands came down. Bile rose in throat, but he swallowed it. That would take too long. Far, far too long._ _

__

__"You listen to me, you dumb son-of-a-bitch." He could feel the tears flowing down his face, but ignored it. Not like he could do anything about it. "You can't die. You cannot fucking die, got it? Not after everything we've been through, everything that you've done for me and Sam."_ _

__

__He saw lights in the corner of his vision. Flashing and distracting. But he didn't look up from the man below him. Didn't dare take his eyes off him._ _

__

__Voices, there were voices. At first soft, then louder. And footsteps. A hand touched his shoulder, and he whipped around. Dammit, dammit, he shouldn't have done that. His hands stopped pressing down, stopped the constant rhythm he'd been doing for the past length of time. But when he turned back to Cas, another hand gripped him and pulled him to his feet. He was surprised when his legs wouldn't hold him, and he went crashing back to the ground._ _

__

__And then he crawled back over to Cas' side, one thought running through his mind. He couldn't stop, couldn't let his friend down again._ _

__

__"Dammit, boy, stop." The person said, grabbing him again and pinning him to the ground. He struggled, but his arms were numb and his hands shaking. He gazed past the officer's back, towards the one hovering over Cas. Who gave a small shake of his head and God no, no. Not Cas. Never Cas._ _

__

__"I can't I-" His voice sounded broken and cracked, but he didn't stop. He switched his focus to the man's exposed skin, digging his fingernails and running long tracks down the side of one cheek. The officer yelped and let go. He went, gripping dirt and forcing his body to make it to his friend's side._ _

__

__"Cas, buddy, you need to wake up, okay? You need to wake up so we can go and gank those vampires, and go back to Sam and-" He ran a hand down and gripped his chin, forcing the ex-angel's lolling head to face him. Eyes closed, face pale, too cold. "You need to wake up."_ _

__

__His hands hand tracked blood onto his skin. Dammit, dammit no. Cas wouldn't want blood on his face like that. He took of his plaid, and used it to wipe his face carefully. It helped, but there was still a trace left._ _

__

__He was grabbed again, this time pushed up against a car. And he kicked and squirmed and needed to get back to Cas. Needed to save him and bring him to the hospital. But the arms were tight._ _

__

__"Listen to me. He's gone. You need to let him go."_ _

__

__No, no he couldn't just let Cas go. He'd done that once before and the man had ended up on the streets, homeless. And now, he'd left him behind. Him and Sam had gone on to Nebraska and they'd just left him behind like nothing._ _

__

__"Please, please-" He murmured, to no one specifically. It felt almost like a prayer, although to who, he didn't know. Not like there was a god to answer. Not even an angel now. Because his angel was laying on the cold ground after he'd failed to save him._ _

__

__And out of everything he'd ever done, that was the one that probably secured his trip to hell. And, honestly? He deserved it._ _

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings:  
> Hypothermia/frostbite  
> Major character death. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
